Welcome To The End
by Clez
Summary: The truth hurts, but they say it sets you free. Ray doesn’t know what to do when he finds out about something that he never wanted to… something personal, and painful.


**Author's Note:** This was inspired by a quote from _'The Mummy Returns'_, as part of a community challenge. I just got all this flash through my head, and here it is. This is set in a kind of AU, wherein Ray and Abby have been in a relationship, but everything with Jake… still happened. Just had to clear that up before I went any further. Hope you like.

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**WELCOME TO THE END**

Ray Barnett closed the door behind him, suddenly amazingly grateful that Neela was starting her shift while his had just finished. He couldn't have been more glad, in fact. He wanted nothing more than to crawl under his sheets and curl up in a ball of rage… or disappointment. Maybe both. Who knew? He certainly didn't, that was for certain. It was pissing him off, actually, and he balled his fists in his fingerless gloves to keep from hurling the nearest object – one of Neela's mugs, which she had left on the table – against the closest wall. Taking in a deep breath, he pulled off his coat and tossed it haphazardly onto the sofa, not caring one bit about the snow that had clung in flakes to his jacket, and would in turn pass onto the sofa itself. Couch be damned, he was in a temper, and he needed to sort that out. Pulling off his gloves as he walked away, he threw them at the coat, trying to calm himself down, even as he passed into the bathroom, ignoring the small pile of snow.

Neela hadn't closed the kitchen window again…

_Screw it. I don't give a damn_.

He didn't look at his reflection as he ran the tap for a little while, catching a pool of the water in his hands before lowering his face and splashing it over himself, head bowed for a time.

And then he heard the knock at the door. Grimacing in annoyance, he waited… maybe they would leave.

They knocked again.

Ray shook his head vigorously, not caring for a towel at that moment despite the convenience, and glanced at his reflection just for a moment. He could only remember one or two moments from his past when he'd looked this angry… or hurt.

They knocked again.

Sighing loudly, he walked from the bathroom, sidestepping the pile of snow out of habit, and reached for the front door. Pulling it open, he all but closed it again, but instead let out a humourless laugh, and walked away from it briskly, standing in the middle of his living room with his arms crossing tightly over his chest, as if to protect from a blow, or hold himself together. The person stood in the doorway for a few moments, and then let themselves in; Ray had left the door open after all, and they had clearly taken that as an invitation.

"Ray?"

Lifting his eyes, Ray stared at the wall straight ahead of him, legs slightly apart for balance as he breathed a little too deeply to keep his temper. "What?" he managed to respond, though it wasn't without an edge.

"Ray… you have to believe me… I didn't mean–"

"Oh, please." He turned at that moment, his arms dropping from his chest as his eyes narrowed. "I have to _believe_ you? Why do I _have _to? I don't think I have any reason to, personally." Pausing for only a moment, he added, "And what didn't you mean, Abby? You didn't mean for it to happen? You didn't mean for it to be _him_? You didn't mean to hurt anyone?"

Abigail Lockhart tucked her rebellious bangs from her face and sighed. "I didn't mean… for any of this."

Rolling his eyes, Ray dropped his head back, staring up at the ceiling for a minute, before looking back to her, and saying, "Abby, if you never wanted this, why the hell didn't you just _say_? I wouldn't have…" The word 'cared' dropped before it even took form… he couldn't have meant that no matter how hard he would have tried. "I would have accepted that."

Abby met his gaze, shrugging under her padded jacket. "It just happened… neither of us intended for it, but it just…"

"… Happened, yeah." Ray shook his head. He'd had this happen to him before, but the effect this time was different. He cared about Abby… and it had hurt to find out what he had, and _how_ he had as well. Face becoming hard again, he looked back at her suddenly, adding, "But from _Morris_ of all people. I mean… what the hell!"

Abby closed her eyes, pinching the bridge of her nose with her finger and thumb temporarily as she said, "I don't know how he found out."

"You mean you _wanted_ to keep it all a secret?"

"I never wanted it to happen in the first place!" she retaliated with a little more volume, dropping her hand from her face.

"Abby, if this were an accident; _really_ an accident, it would have been a one-off!"

"It _was_ a one-off!"

Ray laughed, but it was somewhat darkly that he did so. "Abby, he's been sleeping at your _place_ for days!"

Abby fell quiet at that, literally as if someone had struck her a physical blow. Her head bowed forward, and she half-turned her body, either to leave or to get a different view than Ray's angry and wounded expression.

"That was no damn accident, Abby… accidents don't go on for days."

Ray noted rather painfully that she had made no attempt to correct him… or even to insist that Jake Scanlon had been sleeping on the sofa, and not in the bed. He felt disgust and agony swim through him… she'd really done it.

_I am such an idiot._

"No, they don't, Ray," Abby agreed in little more than a whisper after a short time, looking around before finally meeting his gaze again. "But… the kiss; that _was_ an accident."

"And the sex wasn't?" Ray was being crude, he knew, but he suddenly didn't care at all. Part of him hated Abby… and the other part was coming apart from the pain of being betrayed by her.

"That's not fair."

"How is it not _fair_?" he snapped, moving closer to her. When he did that, he noticed she shifted away, as if startled, or to protect herself. He stopped instantly as a result. Had she thought he was going to strike her? For some reason, that stung a little more on top of everything else. "How is it not fair, Abby? _Define_ fair to me, please, because I'm a little confused all of a sudden."

Abby leaned against the kitchen counter behind her, taking a few moments to prepare her comeback, before it formed; "You can accuse me of all this, but you won't for one second believe that I never wanted to hurt you. That's what I find unfair."

"Abby… I trusted you," Ray told her, his voice quieter now, but not devoid of accusation or hurt. "I trusted you; thought you were serious, and then this happens. With _him_."

Abby's brows knitted together as if insulted or perplexed. "What do you mean by that?"

"Mean by what?"

"_Him_." She cocked her head, staring at him. "Ray, are you reacting so badly because of who it was?"

"No!" Ray answered instantly, shocked she would imply that. "What the hell… no, I'm not reacting badly because of that. I'm reacting badly because you did it at _all_!"

Abby covered her face, pulling in a deep breath. The two of them fell silent for a time, and Ray's shoulders slumped; tired and a little lost. The whole day had been exhausting. At first, it had just been the patients to wear him out, but after he'd found out about Abby and Jake, it had changed entirely. "Abby," he began quietly and rather calmly, "I just want to know one thing." She looked to him. "Why?" Her head rose, and she contemplated him for a second.

"I don't know…" she murmured.

Ray closed his eyes for a while, head dropping forward somewhat as he tried to organise his thoughts. He stepped back as he heard her step towards him, and turned. Suddenly it hurt to be so close to her, and he paced across the living room, eyes opening, coming to a stop on the other side of the room. Mind racing to try and organise everything that had happened, he sighed, looking to her as he said, "Yes you do."

"No, Ray, I–"

He smiled, but it was without humour that he did so. "Yes you do. Jake's smarter than I am. He's better with the patients and other doctors. He's more gentle and affectionate than I am… he probably talks to you about books, movies or plays. He doesn't have his band over his place, keeping him away from spending time with you. He probably doesn't have a roommate to get in the way, either." He laughed quietly there, scratching his fingers through his hair, wanting nothing more than to collapse on the sofa… he refrained. "Whatever it is… you looked at him, and saw something different. You didn't see whatever you saw in me… you saw something better. Something brighter and more appealing. Something more _you_."

Abby's expression had become almost saddened. She was frowning, and her hair had dropped in her face again, but to be left this time, not brushed away as usual. "Ray," she began, moving a little closer, but stopping when he tensed. "Jake… he's a student, and I went home to find him at my door. I had no idea why. His rotation with me was over… I was confused, and… I… kissed him."

Ray closed his eyes quickly at that. Those had been the words he'd been waiting for… she'd initiated… not Jake. Since he'd found out, he'd been telling himself that it had probably been Jake to make the first move.

Apparently not.

Sighing, he opened his green eyes again, and looked across the room into her brown ones as she continued, "But, Ray, when I was with you… I enjoyed the change. You were so different from other men… other _doctors_ I'd been with. You could listen to me ramble on about some patient, and understand exactly what I meant, and react to it. I've had that before, but… you were fun. There's something about you that really appealed to me. Your attitude drove me up the wall at first, but now…" She shrugged, and fell quiet. He'd been staring at her the entire time, but his demeanour had relaxed… perhaps too much; it was subdued now, if anything. Defeated.

"There's a fine line between coincidence and fate," he said quietly, and noticed she cocked her head as she listened. His eyes had drifted from hers, but returned as he concluded, "Which side of that line are we on, Abby?"

She faltered; couldn't answer.

"Or which side _were_ we on?"

She frowned again, and though he was certain he was seeing things, he thought he saw tears form in her eyes. Shaking his head, he looked her in the face for a time longer, before he said, "Whichever side we were on, Abby… I believed you." His own eyes stung with moisture, but he blinked it back, and took his coat off the sofa, walking for the door.

"Ray…"

He ignored her, slipping out of his own apartment and leaving her inside, even as he pulled on his coat, and headed for the nearest exit. Being anywhere near her was agonising now. He'd believed her…

It had been a lie. He knew that now. He knew now that she had never meant any of it. He should have seen it before… and now it was over. He wouldn't have to deal with any more of the lying.

That didn't make it hurt any less…

**_Fin…_**


End file.
